Monday, 4 June 2012

A cranium filled with Bullshit

Relationships  are tricky cunts. Beautiful tricky cunts.
But that’s not the point. The other part of life I struggle with is decisions. I make them because I have to. I never feel like they are the right ones. And of course; hindsight is the best foresight. So what pray tell should a godless girl like me, look to for some sense of fucking direction?? I know what Daddy wants, what society expects, what my mother hopes for, and that most people don’t care what the fuck I do with my life. Me? I have ideas, I have fantasies, and I make little plans…but not in the least do I know what to make of myself. As of yet I am a 23 year old college graduate with little less than a clue how i will make my way in this capitalistic world. It just sucks so hard that I have to think about money...another decision of a more moral nature, but that also affects my bigger choice_how important is being wealthy to me? How much is enough? How to make this money? Another little rut I'm stuck in. Everything is either too boring, too risky, out of my reach, can't afford it, won’t stomach it, don’t know about it, or it’s too late (they say it’s never too late but I grossly disagree with that optimistic gimmick)….I have also come to realize that I am an escapist. Every situation I find myself in, I inevitably seem to try and get out of… the idea being that the next place is the right place.(where I will miraculously just start being more awesome) Bullshit Susan. BULLSHIT
I’m starting to notice it’s the small things that count. Dream big. But don’t forget the detail….and most of all enjoy the ride.But hey, this seems to be the motion of my ocean today, but tomorrow I might realize, once again—that everything I figured out is all BULLSHIT .
So actually fuck this whole post. I just really don’t want to watch TV or go to bed and my boyfriend, my beautiful boyfriend, is busy. Sigh…
Ce La VIE right?
Bullshit=        Danish  →lort→Estonian→ lollus→Finnish→Paskapuhe French→connerie→Turkish→Sacmalik

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